He's BAAACK!


I burrow in the covers resisting the whines, yelps, plaints and licks for as long as I can. I bark a coupla commands from the depths, they silence for awhile, and just when I'm settling in for a little more peace, here comes the kid in bed with me, then the dog, to get in bed with him. I get them out of my bed with a rousing cacophony and try to re-engage slumber in the blissful silence. Eventually, the guilt intercedes and finally, after long, long minutes, I get up. I don't know why I'm so sleepy. I didn't stay up late last night. It's got to be about 11:00, already!. You know what time it was?


7:34. On a Saturday morning. I'd been fighting them off for at least an hour. Joy in the morning.


He: ...Propriety


She: Ooh. You use big words, I like big words.What's propriety?
He: Didn't your mother ever teach you about right and wrong?
She: "Oh, she jabbers on a bit, but she never says much of anything."
My Man Godfrey.

My pumpkin's at an age now where little, if anything, gets past him. I've been in the awkward position several times in recent months (and once today) of men hitting on me in his presence. (Hitting on me, of course, in the, "can I call you sometime?" sense.) It could just be my issues showing, but when I see or hear such an approach, I try to head it off at the pass with a vigorous sideways shake of my head, and a startled expression on my face, mouthing the word NO! (Heaven forfend my son should see me in some light other than the diffuse one we nagging loving moms typically appear in!) I just think it's inappropriate for parents to be trying to "hook up" (in the broadest sense) in front of their kids. Am I tripping?


One of my girlfriends emphatically said YES in response to that question, `course she's neither been wife nor mommy, so I'm not sure she's got quite the perspective necessary for fair assessment. On the other hand, there are plenty o' moms out there every day, dressed...well, not like moms, that I see chatting up guys all the time. Still...I can't get with it. I guess if it were under the guise of something else...that the request was made, I could handle it, but this forthright, straight up, being approached as a sexual being in front of my son...it's embarrassing!


So, today when heading off at the pass didn't work, I did this thing I do, when I'd rather not be rude, which is, give out a false name when I took his number instead of giving mine. Mind you, I'm now lying in front of my son. I was stunned still, from this guy walking all the way over from the pumps to my car in front of the store after I'd nodded off his gestures, to have this exchange based on, what? My wild hair, makeup-free face, come hither thigh and elbow grazing billowy t-shirt, or the bike shorts?

MOM!!! He almost blew my cover, but somehow thought better of it. I told him the whys and wherefores as we drove away, and he said, world-weary already, "I'm glad I'm not a girl." Then he offered to tear up the guy's number. Kids today.