Thursday, November 7, 2002

You've Got Two Husbands

That's the kind of fodder that passes as conversation starter in bars these days.
One was plenty, thanks!

A friend of mine is newly and reluctantly single, so I've found myself, as good friends do, accompanying her through the transition by way of the singles scene. (Sigh).
So this guy in a bar is reading my palm. Allegedly, I'm very caregiving (and, I might add, well-balanced; I managed to not fall off the stool when he said that!) and because of the two m's in my palm (he said nothing about all the x's) I'm gonna be married again. Guess what? I'm thinking it won't be to him.

There is some good stuff too, though, in single playland (not just free drinks). For example, there's humor, like in these men's headlines from a personals ad site:
Now we can make our value judgements even quicker!
jaded, with latent whisps of optimism
Happily Eccentric Sociopath Seeks Psychotic Nymphomaniac To Help Destroy World
I'm the one responsible for the crop circles
You can't tell from the picture, but I also have legs
My watch has a calculator in it, cause I'm just that cool. and the one I just declared my favorite:
I'm dope like crack

What's really funny though, is the antic pop-psych babble men emit when asked if they're sexually faithful to their wives. I guess they contort so because they think I'm asking the question for some reason other than to be amused by the response. Once one lamented that his wife had "female problems" and therefore was presumably too delicate to consort with routinely, so he'd told her he "gotta do what I gotta do" and she agreed that he should. "It had been about...two weeks" after all!

Now that was funny. I know married men who'd high-five all around if they'd had sex with their wives within the past two months, let alone weeks!

I am soooo tired, sitting here stalling and blogging. The call just came in. Tonight, it's Zola's.

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