I'm Going to Drink and Pee at the Same Time!

My pumpkin announced this on the way to the bathroom. Boy. 8; of course. When he came out, and learned that the laugh he heard was actually elicited by his comment, he exulted: "It worked too! I went like..." Honey, I believe you, I don't need the visual.

Clearly, something's going on, and wrong, in fact, with my blog template. It took me so long to get it to this nearly right state, that I've momentarily abandoned the notion of fucking with it further. That, and the fact, that my computer is apparently fried, works erratically, and... you know, stuff like that.

I start my second week of vacation tomorrow. It's been fabulous. A true vacation. I've only called it once or twice (but on the same day) and haven't logged on at all. Languishing poolside while kids hoop and holler and I read, taking long walks around the neighborhood. The weather last week was fantastic, Asheville-like, even, high 70s to mid 90s, no humidity to speak of. There's been no days like this since last September.

Outrageous Demand du Jour
One of the guys I respect most at work, (i.e, he knows what he's doing and does it), made that comment about my "management style" recently when I checked in with him. That wit, I love. Me in a nutshell. I like that characterization much better than narcissistic personality disorder.

I went to Kings Dominion yesterday, Six Flags a couple of weeks ago. My kid's no rollercoaster rider, as it turns out, despite appeals to reason--which usually works in all situations, but I guess he's too sensible to find anything reasonable about hurtling through the air upside down over and over at an alarming speed. I'd hoped the Carowinds incident a few years ago was a fluke, thinking "he's a little young, still, I guess..." Nyet!

Appeals to ego didn't work either, though I did go a little easy on him and not fume too goddamn obviously about how we could've just paid a dollar to go to the local pool if all he wanted to do was a water slide, rather than spend $40 per, gas money, and time for you to be a shrimpback wuss, yellowbelly priss, just like your pansy-ass Daddy! Shit.

Just when I thought all this mommying was about to start paying off;-- I read all the books, I breastfed, stayed home for two years, did timeouts insteada cracking his ass the other way--ALL THAT, and still, I've got no buddy for rollercoaster riding! Ain't that nothin? Good thing he can halfway vacuum or his ass would be outta here! Next week.